she looked like the before picture.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
