Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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