Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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