Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
