Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
