Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
