If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
