He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
