You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
