I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
