i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Is it because I queefed?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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