im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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