i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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