I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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