Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
