K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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