White coat. Heels.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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