mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
