all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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