imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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