stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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