How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
