You just made me feel so damn special
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize