Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize