She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize