What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm bleeding and have questions
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
