you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
