I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
