i jhust puked up my retainher.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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