is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
