Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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