He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
