i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
