that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
