Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize