just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My hand turned me down
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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