Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
