I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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