After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
