We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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