dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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