Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
