Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
"it" just moved
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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