just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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