So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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