Where is the hickey?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
