my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
