You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
