How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
