No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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