I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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