I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Sober January is a disaster.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
