I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
