I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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