Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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