this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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