isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
