There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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