Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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