Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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