Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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