I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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