Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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