This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
