i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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