He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
