My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
