i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
