I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
