First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
