then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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