I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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