David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
