Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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