put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm eating all of the evidence.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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