Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
