went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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