If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He passed out mid-signature
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
