Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
