I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
