Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Come share oat with me in your robe
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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