god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
